Single-Tasking: Antidote to Multi-Tasking

by Janet M. Shlaes, PhD

We live in a world of multiple simultaneous demands for our attention. The concept of “multi-tasking” was created in order to turn our constant state of agitation into the pretense of a skill. Most likely, you’ve been on both sides of the multi-tasking table, as participant and recipient. Neither side feels particularly satisfying. The undesirable impact of multi-tasking is that you are never fully present to anything or anyone. Although multi-tasking provides the “illusion” of productivity, the cost in terms of stress level and relationships is exceptionally high.

In service of experimentation and moving outside of my comfort zone, I embarked on the mission of “single-tasking” for one week. I discovered that breaking my multi-tasking habit was a lot more challenging than anticipated. Single-tasking required an extremely high level of self- and other-awareness, along with the ability to be fully present to whatever I was doing at any moment in time. It meant that when I was reading, I was just reading; when I was talking on the phone, I was just on the phone and wasn’t scanning my email, making coffee, reading reports or writing; when I was listening to music, I was just listening to music; when I was with someone, I was fully present to what he / she was saying and not going over a mental “to-do list.” Single-tasking also meant that I increased my awareness regarding when I wasn’t present in the moment and the potential impact of this state on others; it also meant intentionally choosing to refocus on whatever was happening in that particular moment. 

My discoveries resulting from my single-tasking experiment were powerful. Time seemed to slow down and my senses intensified. I noticed things that previously would have been beyond my conscious awareness: the radiance of whatever was occurring in a particular moment; the sounds and patterns of various types of music; the unique magnificence of the person I was speaking to; the secrets revealed in my familiar urban landscape; the joy present in doing previously insignificant household tasks. An added bonus was how quickly I was able to complete my actual “to-do” list.

I invite you to take on the challenge and gifts of single-tasking and enjoy the experience of being fully present. You have everything to gain and little, if anything, to lose.

Janet

Aligning your Values and Actions

by Janet M. Shlaes, PhD

What do you profess to value and what do you actually value? Lately, I’ve increasingly noticed the gap between words and actions in myself and in others. This repeatedly shows up around the gravitational pull of technology. Don’t get me wrong. I love the benefits of technology, dearly treasure my technological gadgets and greatly appreciate what technology does to enhance our work and increase our connection with others. Unfortunately, there are costs attached to always being virtually connected.

Connection via technology often provides the illusion of relationship at the expense of authentic connection. I am increasingly disturbed to see people sitting on a bench in an art museum or a playground focusing on their email, texts, etc. rather than on the amazing work of art in front of them or their miraculous offspring. I would imagine that if asked, each of these individuals would talk about valuing art, beauty and the miracle of life. I have also been guilty of these behaviors resulting from the seduction of technology.

What do you profess to value and what do you actually value? Actions, rather than words, ultimately define how we move through the world, who we are and what we truly value. We often choose actions that are not aligned with our stated values and our desired identity. I invite you to step back on a regular basis to observe the alignment of your words and actions with your core values.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Janet

For related posts, check out the following links:

Should, Could, Accomplish

Thinking Small for Big Results

Asking the Right Questions

Asking the Right Questions

by Janet M. Shlaes, PhD

The questions you ask determine your reality and your results. What types of questions do you regularly ask? Do they tend to get you the results that you truly want? The types of questions you regularly ask determine your focus, the information you seek and take in, your overall experience in the world and, most importantly, your results. Leaning to ask the right questions is both a process and an evolutionary journey. Asking questions with conscious intention can result in creativity and next level results. This bold claim holds true across professional and personal realms. A few of my favorite questions that lead to collaboration, enthusiasm, creativity and results include, but are not limited to, the following questions.

If anything were possible, what result would we want to accomplish? This type of question immediately puts us in a “visioning,” rather than a “problem solving” state of mind. The question doesn’t ignore that problems exist; it powerfully puts people in the space of what might be possible when everyone is committed to the same outcome goal. I have personally found that this question is highly effective in both the professional and personal realms and fully aligns with the Appreciative Inquiry model (one of my favorite approaches to creating). An added bonus is that problems, potential and imagined, tend to be eliminated or solved with this approach.

What type of discussion would be the best use of our time? Another version of this is “What type of conversation has the best chance of getting us what we want?” These types of questions are useful when a conversation progresses into a conversation of who is right or wrong or a “blaming” conversation. Asking these questions or some other version of them empowers participants to step back and reboot the conversation to one that has a higher probability of moving the project and/or the relationship forward.

The questions you ask determine your reality and your results. What types of questions do you regularly ask? What types of results do you want to achieve?

For addition insights and observations, I invite you to check out the following posts:

Defining Moments

Optimal Performance Fundamentals 
Making a Difference

Authenticity

Authenticity by Janet Shlaes, Ph.D.

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.”

~Kurt Cobain

Each of us comes into the world with a unique biology, set of skills and talents. Anyone who has raised a child knows it’s all there right from the beginning. Under the age of five, children tend to be spontaneous and genuine, moving through the world with a natural sense of curiosity and self-expression. Young children tend to be fully present in the moment, expressing their emotions as they surface from an authentic inner space. You can always tell what is going on inside of young children. If they are feeling happy, they exude delight. If they are feeling curious, they are all about exploration and comprehension. If they are angry, they erupt in the moment and then settle down. If they are feeling loving and loved, they exhibit the pure expression of love, hugging a person or even a tree.

And then, something happens.  Past the age of five (or sometimes even sooner), natural expression goes underground. Or, as my son so wisely observed many years ago: “the world gets to them.” External comparison and judgement moves into their inner space and crowds out authenticity. Some of this is necessary in order to build cultural and societal values and integrity, however, some of this is about conforming to significant others’ beliefs about who they should and need to be. The loss of authenticity is a double loss. It’s impossible to fully develop and manifest your gifts in the world when these gifts are constantly repressed. The psychic energy required for this type of repression results in a loss of vitality and wellbeing. Additionally, your failure to be authentic deprives the world of your unique skills, mindsets, vision, way of being in the world and potential legacies. What one action step can you take today to express your authentic self?

Janet

For addition insights and observations, check out the following posts:

Emerging
Kindness
Gratitude

Revitalizing Relationships

Revitalizing Relationships by Janet Shlaes, Ph.D.

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”

~ Sam Keen

The key to building successful long-term loving relationships is developing the habit of going back to the beginning. Let me explain…... Loving relationships commence with the phenomenon of limerence, commonly known as infatuation. This relationship stage is accompanied by intense psychological and physiological symptoms. A significant shift in your hormone levels occurs leading to both physical and psychological attraction, along with feelings of being magnetically drawn to the other person. This stage is also characterized by the idealization of the other person; you tend to experience their words and actions as endearing.

The infatuation stage, however, is a temporary one that gradually fades over time. As the fading occurs, many of the qualities that were initially appealing become irritating. Although the qualities remain the same, your responses and meaning you attach to the qualities changes. Many couples separate in the immediate post-limerence time period. The real work of deepening a relationship and developing a romantic friendship takes place as infatuation ends. Couples who commit to moving beyond the infatuation stage will experience the many benefits inherent in a long-term relationship. What empowers them to deepen their relationship is choosing to develop the habit of returning to the beginning. The process of returning to the beginning reminds you of your partner’s initial appeal and attraction. Intentionally developing this habit also serves to elicit your initial infatuation responses, along with the strengthening of your ability to experience each other as imperfectly perfect.

Janet

For addition insights and observations, check out the following posts:

Defining Moments

Getting to Essence

Everything Matters

Everything Matters by Janet Shlaes, Ph.D.

“Live your life as though every act were to become a universal law.”

~ Henry David Thoreau

Everything that you do and say impacts your world with unanticipated and unexpected effects. A random comment or observation spontaneously uttered in even the most casual encounter could be the exact words that the other person needed to hear and you needed to say at that precise moment in time. Or, your words, uttered quite innocently could be offensive or destructive. Everything matters. As you intentionally foster the habit of paying attention to your interactions and actions, you will begin to notice the impact of your words and actions; your self- and other-awareness will expand exponentially. Truly knowing and experiencing that everything matters is simultaneously miraculous and unnerving in terms of personal responsibility.

Imagine what might be possible if you chose to shift your thinking to align with the Thoreau quote at the beginning of this post? Taking on Thoreau’s philosophy would result in the consistent employment of words and actions that align with your most cherished values? Consider the ripple impact of this way of being in the world, as well as the potential for positive change. Your words, actions and thoughts matter greatly to yourself and others.

Janet

I invite you to consider the insights and observations from the following posts:

Courage Revisited 

Defining Moments

Questions and Answers

The Calmness Advantage

The Calmness Advantage

by Janet Shlaes, Ph.D.

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.”

~ Thomas Jefferson

Have you ever found yourself in a stressful situation and said or done something that you later regretted? If your answer is yes, you’re not alone. One of the most challenging skills to develop is the ability to stay calm and centered when it seems as though everything around you is chaotic and/or falling apart. I propose that calmness under pressure is a skill worth cultivating for a variety of reasons. It brings people together and leads to win-win outcomes. Additionally, a critical incentive for learning this skill is avoiding having to deal with regret for actions or words originating from a reactive place. Staying calm under pressure provides you with the time and space to observe and evaluate a situation from a neutral perspective. You have the opportunity, even if it’s just for a few seconds, to determine the needed response to deactivate a volatile situation and get back on track for a desired and mutually satisfying outcome.

Several straightforward questions, when asked from a place of calmness, curiosity and respect, are effective in preventing a tense situation from escalating. These types of questions include: “What is this really about? What do we want build here? What are we both committed to accomplishing? Is there something we can agree on? Can we agree to disagree?” Staying calm under pressure comes with a caveat. Sometimes, your calmness will be misinterpreted as not caring or being condescending. If this occurs, you can move from questions to “I’ statements before a question. For example: “I’m committed to our understanding each other.” or “I think that we ultimately want the same thing.”

Calmness under pressure is a skill worth cultivating. It brings people together and leads to win-win outcomes. What one action step can you take today to learn this skill?

Janet

For additional insights and observations, check out the following posts:

Agendas - Yours, Mine and Ours

Forcing vs. Unfolding

Perspective

Perspective

by Janet Shlaes, Ph.D.

“The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

~ Marcel Proust

Most data is neutral and yet your rarely experience the facts of your life impersonally. Your perspective directly impacts the meaning you attribute to life events and interactions and your feelings elicited by them. A change in perspective won’t change the facts, however, it can change your relationship over time to the facts. Some attribute this shift in meaning to maturity, wisdom or even divine intervention. I attribute the shift to an expansion in your field of meaning. A powerful exercise that I often utilize with clients is derived from the fields of Positive Psychology and Narrative Therapy; it incorporates taking on several perspectives around a challenging interpersonal life event. Think about a challenging experience or interaction; it might be a lifecycle event, a random encounter or a disagreement with someone you are close to. Narrate the experience from multiple perspectives – from each participant’s point of view and from the point of view of a neutral observer.  What people usually find is that through the telling of the narrative from multiple perspectives, their meaning and emotional attachment to the experience shifts over time. The facts are still the facts, but a shift in perspective results in a gradual shift in meaning and emotional impact.

Janet

For addition insights and observations, check out the following posts:

If You're Asking the Question

Making a Difference

Courage Revisited

The Space Between

The Space Between

by Janet Shlaes, Ph.D.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

~ Victor Frankl

Whether you’re aware of it or not, you are always choosing your response to a situation or interaction. The choice may be well thought out over time or take place within a fraction of a second; it may be within your conscious awareness or may feel as though it’s out of your control. Sometimes your choice moves you closer to what you want and hold dear and sometimes it can have the exact opposite impact.  The key to consistently making good choices is to intentionally increase the time between the stimulus and your response. This between stimulus and response time can take many forms. Some people increase their between time via taking a few deep breaths or counting to ten; some stop for a moment, go internal and ask: “What do I want to accomplish here?” The answer to this question serves to guide their response. Sometimes, just to amuse myself, I go internal and visualize two thought bubbles, similar to the ones you find in cartoons. The first thought bubble is filled with what I would like to say and the second one is filled with how I actually respond. Once you get into the habit of noticing the space between stimulus and response, you have the capacity to choose your responses from a wise and strategic place. Where might developing this skill enhance the quality of your responses?

Janet

For addition insights and observations, I invite you to check out the following posts:

Optimal Performance Fundamentals   

Small Adjustments, Big Results

Effective Communication

Effective Communication

by Janet Shlaes, Ph.D.

“I didn’t’ have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”

~ Mark Twain

I invite you to remember a time when you experienced effective communication. What was present for you? Effective communication is both a skill and a gift. Fortunately, skills can be learned over time. Becoming an accomplished communicator requires intention, commitment, motivation and perseverance. As most every area of your life requires some sort of communication, developing this skill is well worth the effort. Compelling communicators possess the ability to convey the essence of their message in a manner that bypasses your defenses. The received communication engages you, feels respectful, is easily absorbed, stays with you and continues to deepen over time. This level of communication expertise requires much practice and self-awareness, as well as the ability to take in visual and verbal feedback and immediately rectify inevitable communication gaps. Talented communicators carefully craft their message, investing the requisite time to convey the heart and soul of their message.  They fully understand that “less is more,” that getting to “less” requires time and that their commitment to simplicity will yield higher level results. Effective communicators customize their message to their intended audience and context. What one action step will you take today to strengthen your communication skills?

Janet

For addition insights and observations, check out the following posts:

Optimal Performance Fundamentals   

Small Adjustments, Big Results

Past, Present, Future

by Janet M. Shlaes, Ph.D.

Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control – now.”  ~ Denis Whaitley

Your life narrative contains past, present and future perspectives that serve to generate and maintain your sense of identity and place in the world.  The meaning of significant life challenges and transitions can change over time, depending on whether you view these challenges and transitions from a past, present or future perspective. When you emotionally put yourself back in a past event, the emotions generated through your past experience become fully present again. In contrast, looking back at a previous occurrence from an emotionally detached perspective generates the opportunity to observe and learn from the past. Shifting into a future perspective facilitates applying your learning from the past into similar situations you might encounter in the future. Although it may seem a bit complicated, it’s essentially quite simple. How you connect with and create meaning from your past will impact your present experience, current thoughts, emotions, motivation, subsequent actions and future experience. Fully living in the now, optimally blends the learnings from the past with taking action in the present that organically lead to your desired future. What could be better than that?

Janet

For additional observations, check out the following blog posts:

Joy of Single Tasking

Expiration Dates

Reality TV Wisdom

Clever vs. Wise

 

by Janet M. Shlaes, Ph.D.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”  ~ Rumi

Attempting to change someone who doesn’t want to change reminds me of the Greek myth of Sisyphus. You expend a great deal of psychic and physical energy under the illusion of progress, only to find yourself repeatedly back at your original starting point. An immense amount of energy is expended for a highly unlikely result and you and your object of change are increasingly aggravated. Over time, and hopefully with a bit of maturity, you wind up with the realization that the only person you can ultimately change is yourself. That seemingly small bit of wisdom releases a huge amount of personal power. Paradoxically, as you let go of your attempts to force change on someone else and shift your focus and energy toward changing yourself, the people around you wind up changing or leaving so that the right people can come into your life – personally and professionally.

Janet

For additional observations and insights, check out the following posts:

Agendas - Yours, Mine and Ours

Forcing vs. Unfolding

Shifting From Knowledge to Wisdom

 

 

 

 

Abundance Mindset

by Janet M. Shlaes, Ph.D.

“Approach life knowing there will be plenty to go around.”  ~ Frank McKinney

Are you a glass half-full or glass half-empty kind of person? Do you tend to move through your life noticing and focusing on what is or isn’t working? How you view and interpret your world determines your perceptual filters, emotional state, self-esteem, life-story and primary way of moving through the world. Those with a half-full or abundance mindset embody perceptual filters that scan the environment for what is currently working well, as well as for people, events and details to appreciate. The main advantage of this type of mindset originates from the reality of “what you focus on tends to expand.” Focus on what is working and you notice and acquire more of what works. Focus on events, details and people to appreciate and they rapidly accelerate in volume and quality.  I invite you to try on a glass half-full abundant mindset for a few days and notice the delightful difference in your experience in the world. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Janet

For additional insights and observations, check out the following posts:

Kindness

Gratitude

Time Perspective

 

 

by Janet M. Shlaes, Ph.D.

“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.”  ~ Picasso

Time is a limited resource for everyone. We all get 24 hours each day to utilize, yet often act as though time is an unlimited commodity. We don’t get to carry over our unused minutes to the next day like roll over minutes in a phone plan; we must use our daily time within the allotted frame of each day. There’s no guarantee that there will be a next day and another 24 hour gift of time. Each day we get to choose how to utilize our limited and valuable time resource.

Imagine what might be possible in your life if you were fully present to the limited and precious nature of time, along with your capacity to purposefully spend your daily gift of time. Having the luxury of this type of choice requires self-awareness, intention, commitment and great responsibility. Before your daily time allotment expires, will you choose to use it wisely or will you squander it? What do you want to ensure that you complete today? How will you end each interaction and conversation with a co-worker, loved one, stranger or neighbor today? How will you structure, move through and use your precious and limited resource today?

Janet

For additional insights and observations, check out the following posts:

Getting to Essence

Quitting

 

Ripple Impact

by Janet M. Shlaes, Ph.D.

“Remember, there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.  ~ Scott Adams

Several years ago “random acts of kindness” were all the rage; the most well-known ones concerned anonymously paying for a random stranger’s highway toll or restaurant bill. There were even several books and movies crafted about the topic. Possible acts of kindness are abundant; they exist within every encounter and benefit both the giver and the receiver. Some of my favorite acts of kindness seem so small at the time, yet the impact feels expansive. Let me explain…….

Grocery store employees are currently trained in a customer service model based on being polite and friendly, specifically asking customers how they are doing and if they were able to find everything they wanted. Because I tend to be a curious person (some might call it nosey), I characteristically ask grocery store check-out personnel about their day. They always appear to be surprised and pleased at what, on the surface, appears to be a minor question. The responses I receive are consistently amazing. In the brief period of time that we interact, their whole physiology changes from dull to dazzling. An added bonus is that I get to learn some interesting and often astonishing things about the person. I have learned about their hometowns and families, interests, avocations, hopes, passions, future dreams and what they will be doing when their shift is over. Through asking about their world, I get to expand my knowledge about the world in general and enter their unique world for a few short moments.

I invite you to commit to creating positive ripples in the world through facilitating a small act of kindness today.

Janet

For additional insights and observations, check out the following posts:

Learn Something New

Embracing "Good Enough"

Time to Listen

 

 

 by Janet M. Shlaes, Ph.D.

“Take time to listen to what is said without words, to obey the law too subtle to be written, to worship the unnamable and to embrace the unformed.”  ~ Lao Tzu

Authentic listening is an art requiring the full utilization of all our senses, including intuition. When you’re truly listening with all your senses, words comprise merely a small aspect of communication. Think about the familiar greeting “how are you?” How many times have you asked this question and, although the response is “OK” or “doing well,” you know that “doing well” is far from the reality of the moment.  Authentic listening requires time, intention, patience, focus and most of all caring; you need to want to hear both the overt and covert message and are motivated to take the time to hear what is and isn’t being said. Sometimes, the art of listening also requires honoring the overt message, allowing the other person to maintain his/her dignity in the moment. I have often found this last aspect of listening to be challenging at times. How does one know when to go deeper in listening and engaging in an honest dialog? I’ve found this takes utilizing our sixth sense of intuition, as well as taking the risk to listen and communicate on a deeper level.

How many of your senses do you listen with? What one action can you take today to expand your art of listening?

Janet

For addition insights and observations, check out the following posts:

Making a Difference

Courage Revisited   

Quotes: Wisdom, Inspiration, Transformation

 

 

by Janet M. Shlaes, Ph.D.

I have been a collector of quotes for the past 20 years and have compiled numerous journals filled with quotations that spoke directly to me at the time and moved me in ways beyond my comprehension. Perhaps you have also had the experience of being moved or inspired by a quote.  The author Cheryl Strayed refers to quotes as “mini-instruction manuals for the soul.” Quotes can find us in joy, sorrow, confusion and a myriad of other feelings, providing us with the exact words that we need to hear at the time to move us into a place of reflection, understanding, resource gathering and ultimate action.

The meaning of quotes that engage and inform is unique, rather than one size fits all. I have found that the same quote, when revisited over time, provides a variety of new insights and meanings. I am continually amused by what wasn’t seen before in the words. Timing is essential in our self-awareness and understanding of self and others; quotes provide the depth and breadth of possibilities often hidden between the words.

For the next month, 30 days to be exact, I’ll be sharing some of my favorite quotes and my experiences with them. My vision is that these quotes will speak to you in a personal manner, providing you with any wisdom you might seek in the moment. Every quote we encounter, when we allow ourselves to fully engage with the essence of the words, provides the opportunity to gain inner and outer wisdom. I hope you enjoy this journey with me.

Janet

For addition insights and observations, check out the following posts:

Should, Could, Accomplish

Thinking Small for Big Results

Making a Difference

Your Personal GPS Navigation Device

Your Personal GPS Navigation Device

by Janet M. Shlaes

GPS Navigation:

GPS navigational devices are no longer considered a luxury when purchasing a new car. We depend on these systems on a daily basis in our cars, phones, tablets and other easily transported electronic devices.  The beauty, and I suggest magic, inherent in this type of system is that it provides up to the second information regarding your location with regard to your intended destination. In an instant update, you can see where you’ve been, where you are and where you want to be. You can also see an estimated time of arrival, as well as a variety of options for pausing to literally and metaphorically refuel via gasoline, rest stops, restaurants and potential points of interest along the way to your desired destination. How amazing is that?

Off vs. On Track:

The most miraculous function of the GPS is the “Recalibration Function.” Once the system is programed for your intended destination, you are immediately alerted when you stray from your original plan. This function is ruthless in design; it doesn’t let up on repeatedly informing you when you are off track and what is needed to recalibrate and get back on track. Unless you intentionally reprogram your destination or ignore the repeated messages regarding the need for recalibration, the message loop persists.

Your Personal EPS:

Each of us is born with our own personal EPS (Emotional Position System), designed originally to promote surviving and ultimately to promote a state of thriving. Similar to the GPS type of navigation system, out Personal EPS empowers us to see where we’ve been, where we are and where we are heading within the framework of our intended and desired outcome. Our EPS, similar to the GPS, lets us know when we are off track and need to recalibrate. Due to a variety of life factors, many of us learn to ignore these recalibration messages, essentially turning down the emotional volume of these messages until they become too loud or too painful to ignore. The beauty of our EPS navigation programming is that it’s designed to bring us to what we truly need in life, even when we are not consciously aware of what we may need in the moment; it even is programmed to let us know when we need to stop for a rest and to refuel.

Optimizing Your Personal EPS:

I invite you to image how wonderfully different your experience of being in the world could be via listening to your Personal EPS. Imagine a world where you intuitively know and listen to when: you are on and off track; a situation (relationship, job, etc.) feels good, adequate or toxic; you are moving through the world in an authentic or false manner; you are clear or confused about your desired destination; and, when you recognize and honor your need to rest, refuel and recalibrate. What one action step can you take today to reprogram and tune in to your Personal EPS navigation device?

Janet

For addition commentaries on inspired, dynamic and pragmatic career and leadership development, check out my Transformation Strategies blog on LinkedIn

Success, Failure and "Connecting the Dots"

 

 
by Janet M. Shlaes

Steve Jobs’ Stanford Commencement Address is as relevant today as it was in 2005 and his essential wisdom will remain relevant for decades to come. Through the telling of three stories from various points in his life, Steve “connects the dots” in his life for us, demonstrating how we derive meaning from our various life events looking backward; we are rarely able to "connect the dots" in a meaningful manner in the present or via speculating about an unknowable future.

Each of us possess countless stories about our life events, some we consider huge successes and some we might label as failures. In the moment, what we experience as a failure often shifts in meaning via the passage of time and embracing a “connecting the dots” backward perspective. Personally, many situations that I labeled as failures in present-time, ultimately led to some of my greatest successes.

 

Both perspective and meaning profoundly shift over time. As we learn to trust that things will ultimately work out, something shifts in us that enables a sense of peace and confidence to be released - an internal paradigm shift, so to speak. Steve emphasized the importance of trust, following our curiosity and passion, and identifying and focusing on what we love to do. When we give ourselves permission to trust and follow what we are magnetically drawn to do, the soil of failure often provides the requisite nourishment for our next success.

Janet

 
Follow the links below for related posts:

 Embracing Good Enough

 Breakdown to Breakthrough

Does Less Equal More?

by Janet M. Shlaes, Ph.D.

Does Less Equal More? Does having less stuff always equal more in terms of living a happier and richer life? I propose that the answer to this question depends on several variables. Let me explain……

Proponents of minimalism advocate for a better life via less stuff, less consumption and essentially leaving a smaller carbon foot print. Graham Hill presents the case for this type of minimalism in his popular 2011 Ted Talk, Less Stuff, More Happiness. I regularly show this video to my graduate students in counseling and organizational development and find two main reactions: some students find the video to be inspiring and soothing and others, after viewing the video, become increasingly agitated. Both types of responses serve to generate deep and powerful conversations regarding values and individual differences in terms of life narratives.

Individuals who tend to be drawn to radical simplicity in terms of aesthetic and function usually find this Ted Talk to be highly engaging and comforting. They report valuing the ease and simplicity of minimalism, as well as the intentionality behind living a life where everything in their home serves an essential function. Although they may choose to have expensive technology and other “stuff” in their home, they fully utilize everything that they own, including their furniture, appliances and clothes. If they don’t use something on a regular basis, they get rid of the item. Their chosen way of being in the world from a more minimalist perspective fully aligns with their current life situation, values, developmental stage and desire to simplify their world and responsibilities.

Individuals who tend to get agitated by Graham’s Ted Talk, detail their need to be surrounded by objects that are personally meaningful, even if these items don’t necessarily provide a concrete function. They like to be surrounded by “stuff” that evokes positive memories of the past and a sense of tactile richness that provides a physical and psychological soothing function. These individuals often comment on how they may not use most of what they carry with them or have in their home, but can’t imagine parting with most of their possessions.

Does having less always equal more happiness and life satisfaction? The answer for each of us provides critical information regarding core values, needs, life narrative, personal meaning and aesthetic. I invite you to explore this question in your own life.

Janet

For related topics to explore, check out the following posts:

Learn Something New

Embracing "Good Enough"

Breakdown to Breakthrough