by Janet Shlaes, PhD
Choosing forgiveness embodies the essence of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). It requires self-, other- and social-awareness, as well as the capacity to move beyond one’s present emotions to a more expansive state. Forgiveness, although often quite challenging, is a gift that you give to yourself - a gift that momentarily releases you from the past. The act of forgiveness requires letting go of something – a sense of injustice, disappointment, rage, perspective, desire, expectation, vision and/or hope. Forgiveness requires moving beyond what should have been to a place of coexisting with what occurred. This does not in any way suggest that you should agree with, condone or appreciate the action or situation that calls for your forgiveness, especially when faced with objectively dreadful situations that are out of your control and understanding.
Forgiveness is about taking back your power. The biggest misconception regarding forgiveness is that it’s a one-time endeavor – you simply forgive and the offending injustice is over. Quite the contrary. Forgiveness is an ongoing endeavor. You choose to engage in the act of forgiveness when the emotional charge from a past wrong invades your current reality. Unless you intentionally choose to forgive and momentarily let go of the past, your precious life force will be utilized in keeping the past alive. Forgiveness is about freedom, focusing on what truly matters and stepping into the energy of courage and strength. According the Gandhi, “Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Would you rather be right or happy? Forgiveness is about choosing to be happy. What will you choose?
For additional commentaries to ponder, I invite you to browse the following links:Optimal Performance Fundamentals