I am alternately amused and irritated at how easy it is to shift from an internal place of enlightened engagement to ego. Ironically, just when I feel I have mastered an emotional situation or have moved beyond a reactive response, it happens. Seemingly at warp speed, I shift from the experience of mastery to a place of ego-based reactivity. Perhaps you have experience this too.
In my post yesterday (Day 7 of my 30 Day Challenge), I wrote about the construct of Memento Mori and being in the world from a place of intention. Several hours after writing the post, I was faced with an interpersonal situation that escalated my feelings of irritation. It was amazing how quickly the interaction unfolded and how I was almost instantaneously faced with the opportunity to practice what I had just written about. It took about an hour of internal ranting to reach a place of irony and amusement at my delightfully human nature.
After I was able to step back and reflect, I asked myself a version of one of the questions from yesterday’s post. Mysteriously, I immediately shifted to a place of valuing and wanting to deepen my relationship with the very person who had initially triggered the irritation. My subsequent interaction was generated from a space of loving appreciation and desire for a deeper connection with a valued and beloved friend. This space felt a whole lot better than the prior space of irritation.
Irritation or amusement? Enlightened engagement or ego? Which feels better? The choice is ultimately up to each of us in every moment. Which one will you choose?